When it comes to self-control, we’ve seen that the human mind is not one unified itself, but multiple selves who compete for control. There’s is the self who wants immediate gratification and the self who remembers your bigger goals. There is your present self, who may or may not seem to have much in common with our future self. As if that weren’t a crowded enough crew, it turns out that you have few other people living in your head too. No, I am not talking about multiple personality disorder – I am talking about your parents, your spouse, your children, your friends, your boss, and everyone else who is part of your everyday world.

As humans, we are wired to connect with others, and our brains have adapted a nifty way to make sure we do. We have specialized brain cells – called mirror neurons – whose sole purpose is to keep track of what other people are thinking, feeling, and doing. These mirror neurons are sprinkled throughout the brain to help us understand the full range of other people’s experiences.
For example, imagine you and I are in the kitchen, and you see me reach my right hand for

For example, imagine you and I are in the kitchen, and you see me reach my right hand for knife. Your brain will automatically begin to encode this movement. The mirror neurons that correspond to movement  and sensation in your right hand will be activated. In this way, your brain begins to craft an inner representation of what I am doing. The mirror neurons recreate the movement like a detective might reenact a crime scene, trying to understand what happened and why. This allows you to guess why I’m reaching for a knife, and what might happen next. Am I going to attack you? Or is my intent victim the lemon pie on the counter?

 Let’s say I accidentally slice my right thumb as I grab the knife. Ouch! As you see this happen, mirror neurons in the pain regions of your brain will respond. You will wince and know immediately what I am feeling The experience of pain is so real to the brain that the nerves in your spinal cord will even attempt to suppress incoming pain signals from your own right hand – just as if you had actually cut your hand! This is the empathy instinct  that helps us understand and respond to other people’s feelings.

After i bandage my thumb and serve myself a slice of the lemon pie, the mirror neurons in the reward system of your brain will be activated. Even if you don’t like lemon pie yourself, if you know that it is my favorite (true), your brain will start anticipating a reward. When our mirror neurons encode the promise of rewards in others, we long for a treat ourselves. This is really powerful and we can actually take advantage of this wonderful and natural system to improve our own rewards when it comes to creating mirror neurons in the positive actions of our existence.